Yoga Workshops
After you have participated in a few Yoga classes, you might be motivated to try a Yoga workshop or two. Yoga workshops are advertised in a variety of places, but are usually pushed in your local Yoga studio, Yoga magazine or late night Yoga info-commercials. They will have snappy names like:
The Blind Bind - Don't be
blinded in your bind
The Unkind Bind - Is your bind unkind? Then
get you behind in that bind!
The Entwined Bind - Advancing the
intertwined and entwined bind
The Rebind/Rewind Bind - How to rewind and
rebind when lost in your bind
The Amended Bend - Amend your broken bend
The Downtrend Bend - Being realistic in
your bends
The Pretend Bend - How to pretend a bend to
impress your fellow students
The Transcend Bend - The bend as an aid to
remembering things you need to pick up at the GreatTranscendentalYoga
SuperStore
The Checklist Twist - Checklist your way
into your twist
The Resist Twist - Don't resist your twist
The Dismissed Twist - Techiques to use when
you want to kiss off the twist in your yoga class
The Missed Twist - Plan B for those vexing
times
The Old Coot Sun Salute - Sun Salutes for
Seniors
The Dilute Sun Salute - Sun Salutes for
weenies
The No Pollute Salute - Strategies to
prevent burping, farting and fainting during your Sun Salutes
The Aversion Inversion - 101 excuses, by
category, that you can use in your Yoga class when you don't feel like
doing an inversion
The Conversion Inversion - What to do when
seeing God during an inversion
The Incursion Inversion - Actions to be
taken when falling over in an inversion into your fellow Yoga student
The Subversion Inversion - Hidden methods
of falling over in inversion into that pretty babe in the mat next to
you
The Perversion Inversion - Inversions
that are not really inversions, nor Yoga, but look damn good in a Yoga
class.
As these workshops have become popular due to the Yoga Star status of
some of those who lead them, they could be quite expensive. However, as
you should be quite familiar by now, YogaDawg is here
to your rescue. To help you make sense of all these workshops and save
you a few bucks in the process, the Yoga Guide will breakdown and
explain the kinds, levels and costs of each. The chart below will give
you a rough idea of the experience to cost ratio:
1. Local workshop with local teacher or studio owner - $
2. Local workshop with out of town teacher - $$
3. Out of town workshop with local teacher or studio owner - $$$
4. Out of town workshop with a Yoga Icon -$$$$$$$$$
5. The Yoga conference - $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Local workshop with local teacher or studio owner:
This is the least expensive option. Essentially the same stuff is taught as in a regular class, but will cost twice as much. Skip these.
Local workshop with out of town teacher:
These are the unknown Yoga Gurus (see Yoga teachers) wanna-be's that are pushing their way into your Yoga consciousness as they make their bid to become a Yoga Star. Expect to learn the same things you learned in your regular yoga classes, but also expect to pay three times the regular class fee for the privilege. On the other hand, there will be cool Yoga babble talk and groovy postcards and cheesy handouts during the workshop.
Out of town workshop with local teacher or studio owner:
A fun-filled trip with the Yoga teacher and any student with enough ready cash to finance a free trip for the teacher to exotic destinations on your dime.
Out of town workshop with a Yoga Star:
Advertised in Yoga Magazines, on the internet and flyers stuck to telephone poles, these are the bread and butter of the Yoga world. Expect the same things you learn in regular Yoga classes, but be prepared to have you wallet drained.
Yoga Conferences:
The crème de crème of the Yoga workshop world. These are Yoga classes, taught by a stable of Yoga Stars. You will be crowed into massive halls, crammed close your fellow yoga student, while you will have mortgaged your house to do so. In exchange for this, you will get an autographed flyer, a chance to buy cool books, DVDs, clothing and other paraphernalia from the Yoga Stars.
TIP: It is suggested that you bring a pair binoculars as you will have trouble seeing the Yoga Star.
BONUS TIP: Don't bath as this will possible add additional inches to your space as your fellow Yoga student will try to move away from you. If you are especially lucky they may even pack up their mat and leave.
Other Workshops
Besides Yoga based instructional workshops there are also other workshops that will be marketed through your local Yoga studio that might be of interest to you. You will find them being pushed by the beleaguered owners of the Yoga studio. It is quick in a Yoga studio owner's tenure, that there is money to be made on the periphery of the Yoga world. So expect to see you favorite studios offering workshops in:
- Water divining
- Molybdomancy
- Aura balancing
- Tarot reading
- Trepanation
- Sanskrit translation services
- Myomancy
- Crop circle interpretation
- Alien abductees counseling
- Ear candling
- Speleotherapy
- Renal/rectal philology
- Colonic cleansing
- Craniosacral therapy
- Snake handling
Yoga Workshops
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