The Yoga blog is the spiritual heart of Yoga in the Internet age. It is where Yogis can yammer about the poses they did in class, be loquacious with their spiritual insights and where they can dissect and chart their inner and outer progress. The Yoga blogger will write about the value of Yoga in their lives as well any profound physical, psychological and spiritual changes that they observe. More importantly, the Yoga blog will allow the Yogi a place to write profound dissertations on the color of their mat, what they had for breakfast, who was in their class on such and such day and whether their Yoga teacher is hot or not.
Though the Yoga blogger may seem self-centered and self-absorbed in their own Yoga life, the blogger will nonetheless feel that this egotistical preoccupation of theirs will yield great insight and profound realizations to the readers of their blog. Unfortunately, the Yoga blogger sometimes has trouble knowing when to stop writing. When that happens, the Yoga blog tends to degrade into mindless rambling about failed love affairs, mind-numbing accounts of finding their lost keys, how much they drank the night before and describe in great detail their newest purchases from the GreatTranscendentalYoga SuperStore.
There then is the great danger that the blogger will think that they are great writers and will even think about penning a Yoga book. Their inspiration for this is when they run across the great yoga guide book, "My Third Eye Itches - A Yoga Guide". They will quickly figure out how to cut and paste all their blog posts into a Word document that they will promptly send off the EternallyBlissfulYoga SuperMagazine.
So let's now examine a typical Yoga blog and see what we can learn from it.
Bloggers Name: Yoga Pinky
Blog Name: Yoga Lip-Gloss
Blogger Profile: I am a Yoga student and yet I can't imagine life without lip-gloss, my iPod, and my fave yoga togs and shoes. I like yoga clothes a lot, especially those from the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. The men there are so cute even though I think a lot of them are gay.not that's there anything wrong with that.hee hee hee. Anyway, it doesn't matter to me. I just love my pink leopard print yoga mat. It matches the pink, leopard print walls in my condo. I have 7 cats. I named them after the chakras even though I have trouble remembering which cat is which and can't pronounce the name of those Chakras anyway. But that doesn't matter because they are so cute. I love myself and think I am exciting and funny. What I don't love is that stinky older guy across the condo from me. He keeps calling the condo association on me claiming my door smells like cat pee and poop. I think he is an old hippy...not that there is anything wrong with that.hee hee hee. I love pink nail polish. I love pink lip-gloss. Did I mention that already? I am funny and exciting. I love to shop at the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. I think I mentioned that already.
The blog entries:
July 1 - I bought a new pink yoga mat today. It is so swanky. I used to have a lavender yoga mat, but kept losing it in the Yoga studio where I go for my Yoga class because everything there is lavender. They call it the Lavender Palace...isn't that so cute! I don't think anyone minded that I had a pink yoga mat. But you never know because some of those girls there can be real bitches. There is an old saying, "when one door closes, another one opens". I'm not sure what that means exactly but will say that if the Yoga bitches give me a hard time then they are just real poops and who cares about them anyway. So girls, do something daring and get your self a pink yoga mat like mine. You know I got it at the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. It is so yogic there. They will let you try on different shades of lip-gloss or sample the cosmetics. They have the cutest collection of bobble heads. I'm not sure who they were supposed to be, but they have the fabest loin cloths. I think one was called Patanjali.
Comments - From Pinklips - You have no idea how profound this entry is. Thank You! You are always so motivating. I love pink!!
July 6 - I picked up a cute book today. It's called "My Third Eye Itches - A Yogic Guide". I skimmed through it as I don't have much time to read. I am so busy shopping for all these delightful Yoga things that who has time to read. Anyway the guy, I think he's a hippy, but that is so un-PC of me isn't it girls, oh well, hee hee hee, I am so bad.anyway this hippy, gives workshops on Yoga. Well, I was excited. I just checked online at his website, for a local class and found one that sounds sooooooooo exciting. Sure, who needs another thing added to their plate but come on girls, we're talking Yoga here! The Yoga language has so many cool words, Yoga, mat, Om, lip-gloss.only kidding about lip-gloss, wanted to see if you were still awake..
Comment: From YogaTrash - I loved your latest post. I must try to get that book as I am a ridiculously loud and obnoxious who drinks too much and am a fat pig.oops I don't suppose to say fat pig, that is so un-pc of me.anyway, I'm embarrassed to be seen in a bathing suit. When I look at myself in a mirror, I want to throw up and then drink myself silly. I hate myself. Do you think that book will help me?
Dear Yogatrash - Yes, that book will help you will all that. The book has a section on self-esteem and suggests saying OM three times in the morning and before you go to sleep at night.but I wouldn't know about that because, thank God, I am perfect. Good luck fat girl!
July 14 - Yesterday I had a
deliriously wonderful afternoon at the GreatTranscendentalYoga
Superstore. They were showing all these cute yoga clothes
from hot, new yoga designers. It was so fab. They let us shoppers
nibbled on some kind of Yoga food. It looked a little like dried cow
dung, but it was kind of good even though it looked icky.I spent the
evening organizing my condo as I didn't know where I was going to put
all the yoga stuff I bought today. But I just started and six days
later, I was able to cram the new stuff in places I didn't know
existed. The rewards are HUGE because now I have these cool piles of
yoga stuff towering over me. I am losing a lot of floor space though.
Tah tah for now.
Dear YogaClutter - What a cute screen name you have.anyway I may have to get rid of the cats soon as there is no room for the litter box anymore.it's been getting a little stinky in the condo lately.
July 20 - I'm like 33 today. It's amazing how quickly the time passes. I know if sounds so cliché, but it truly does feel like just yesterday that I got my first training bra, shoplifted yoga tapes with my girlfriends from high school and spent the money my parents gave me to go to college, on yoga clothes. Life is filled with so many lessons, experiences, joys, and triumphs--all of which help craft us into the unique being we become. To celebrate my birthday, I got dressed up in my best pink yoga bottoms and my Eco Haven yoga top, my Yoga hat, the one with the adorable sprigs of incense sticking out of the top and went to my yoga class. A girl's got to feel pretty, right? I have so many thoughts to share on this special day but I'd like to focus on a list of 33 things that I will do on the day after my birthday:
...umm, well I really can't think of anything else right now, but check back later when I put my thinking cap on...
Comments: From YogaShrink - I love you list. It is very inspiring.
July 25- I washed my hair today, wrote in my blog, lit a lovely scented candle, read a page of "My Third Eye Itches - A Yoga Guide" (I'm up to page 9 and am tearing though this most profound and enlightening book), listened to Das somebody (did you notice that all Yoga CDs are by someone with Das in their name. I wonder if they are all make by the same person, hee hee hee), did a high colonic and when to sleep. It was a wonderful day.
Comment - From Yogabitth - I lobe youy and an soory ttat I have hot ansers your cojjjehts about toug sirdty hippyesl What is whit themk. I watch woodstocik eith my parents,k yet again and was a put about with their smiling an smieling at the scene owjt the jaoru;ui wp,em om the ,pbpe, What os tjat. Their jaoru ;egs and armpits and viginas. Why is jy dad jupng on my mother when I can't get gerald to fucik mje even though I was shaved clean and have tested byself for aids. Deo you therink I need a jigh colonic.
Dear Yogabitth - Hi. Either you are someone posting me from India or you are that drugged out Hippie next door because I can't understand a thing you wrote. It has to be that Sanskrit language or that smelly buring stuff that I smell coming from your condo. Anyway, I'm not sure what you wrote but I think you asked about my high colonic. Yes it was wonderful! I know it sounds funny, but it kind of clears out my head when ever I have one.
July 30- I read today in "My Third Eyes Itches - A Yoga Guide", "embrace intensity to truly live". This reminded me of my post a couple of weeks ago on finding new yoga clothes and lip-gloss. Such a profound concept. I feel that way when I put on my lip-gloss. I feel so like in the present moment. SO who needs Yoga..hee hee, only kidding.Sometimes my mind is constantly planning what to do next. So girls, I made a decision today to go live in the GreatTranscendentalYoga Superstore. This way I won't have to live in anticipation of what I will buy next. Don't you think I'm smart?
Comments - From YogaHorder - Are you living in the Yoga Superstore yet? I am so jealous.
I have been looking at your site and it is a hoot. - Raleigh Yoga Center
I enjoyed your way funny web site and pointed humor. - Bhava Yoga Studio
Dig the site. :-) - David
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